Hate, ageism and the 2016 presidential election

On Trump

I’m saddened by the hate expressed in my state last week as demonstrated by Trump’s sweep in the Republican primary. It was manifested again this week by the events in Chicago, where reports are genuinely upsetting and heartbreaking. Trump protesters faced verbal and physical assaults outside of the venue. At the same time the media replayed video from previous Trump appearances where he encouraged his followers to attack protesters and offered to pay their legal defense fees. Is this really who we want as our president? (Time.com, March 10, 2016)

NPR - Getty Images

“This Can’t Go On In Chicago,” Says Anti-Trump Protester,” NPR Weekend Edition, March 13, 2016

Listen to the disrespect this American suffered at the hands and minds of Trump supporters. Listen to his message. “America is great without the hate.”

On ageism and the presidency

Senior Planet

Those around me who think Bernie Sanders is too old to be president have captured my attention. He’s 74, Hillary’s 68 and the Donald Drumpf is 69. I don’t get it and apparently the youngest voters among us don’t get it either since they seem very comfortable with everything Bernie.

When Hillary started up her campaign machine again, so shortly after the 2012 election, “too old” was a common question and comment among the pundits. (“Is Hillary Clinton too old to be president?” MSNBC asked. ” Hillary is too old to run,” the New York Post claimed. Politico opinionator Pete Seat echoed the sentiment: ” Hillary Clinton is too old to be president.”) (Erica Manfred, Senior Planet: Aging with Attitude, May 28, 2015)

Senior Planet looked at this question in a great article: How Old is Too Old to be President? (May 28, 2015). In the article, the experts are split on the effects of age and office holding. Dr. Nir Barzilai, professor of medicine and genetics at Albert Einstein and director of the Institute for Aging Research, says, “biological and chronological age are not the same. The older you are, the more your genes rather than lifestyle are likely to predict longevity...Someone like Hillary, who functions at very high intensity, has the gene for longevity. “ Her mother died at 92.

Barzilai also points out that Alzheimer’s isn’t a forgone conclusion with age: “[t]he more educated and intelligent a person is, the less you’ll see the decline even if they have Alzheimer’s.” (According to Barzilai, if one of your parents lived to be over 85, your likelihood of getting Alzheimer’s is reduced by 25 percent, even if that parent had the disease.)

Also quoted in the article is Dr. Robert Epstein, a research psychologist and former editor in chief of Psychology Today. “As long as the candidate shows no signs of senility – say, from early Alzheimer’s – an older candidate is probably your best choice if you think the world is a fairly stable place. As we get older, our judgment regarding matters we know about generally gets better. Experience is a great teacher.”

But, Epstein says, “If you think the world is rapidly changing, that’s another story. The older we get, the harder it is for us to quickly learn, master and evaluate new information.”

The article goes on to point out that the issue for candidates today isn’t about age but about how visible they are to the voters through social media and how savvy their campaigns are in using these communication platforms to reach all of the voters.

Does age matter? You can vote 

Erica Manfred, the article’s author reports that the “jury is still out on age and the presidency.” You can vote on the site for how old is too old to be president. (at the bottom of the article)

No time to lose

Help! 

Somebody stole an hour from me while I slept last night! And I don’t have the time to lose!

Give it back!

Adding insult to injury. I have to be reminded of what I've lost as I run around the house resetting all of my clocks. That's just cruel. Crank me out of bed an hour early and leave all of the clean up work to me. Well, I never.....

A bi-partisan bill in the state seeks to eliminate the daylight savings time shifts twice a year. Sponsors of the bill, Rep. Pete Lucido, R-Shelby Township, and Rep. Jeff Irwin, D-Ann Arbor, cite educational, health and safety issues as the basis for the change, according to an interview on Michigan Public Radio (March 1, 2016)

We’ve been around long enough to remember daylight savings time (DST) taking effect in Michigan, but the process probably escaped us then.

According to Jeremiah Webster on MyMcKinley.com (March 8, 2013), Michigan and Arizona were the first states to exempt themselves from DST in 1967, but the exemption statute was suspended in June of that year when a referendum was invoked. From June 14 until October 1967, Michigan observed DST and did so through 1968. From 1969 – 1972, Michigan did not follow DST. A general election ballot issue, November 1968, sustained the exemption statute by a “close vote.” Michigan has observed DST since 1973.

Whatever the legislature and the grownups were doing at that time, all I remember is that it messed with the schedules of my TV programs. How was I ever going to keep track of the changes on all three channels! (I wasn’t into PBS yet.)

Like most people as well, I thought it had something to do with farming but indeed it has nothing to do with farming. Daylight Savings Time was first adopted to conserve electricity by Germany during World War I (History Channel, March 9, 2012).

But in recent years, studies have found that it no longer saves energy and there is an increase in car accidents and other health issues with each Spring Forward are Fall Back. Michigan Public Radio

Rep. Irwin suggests leaving us in Spring Forward mode to provide summer tourism with longer days to play under the Michigan sun and in its “salt free, shark free, no worries” waters. I say, good plan for those of us with pitchers full of ‘ritas who want the sunsets to last forever.

I can still Spring Forward on my ankles --- for get the knees --- but I’m not much interested anymore in Falling Backwards even if it is on my well padded bee-hind and thankfully not on my achy-breaky joints.

What’s your preference?

HBO’s Last Week Tonight weighs in DST in his “How Is This Still a Thing?” segment

Old Men Grooving

So you think you still can't dance huh?

Well, you still have the music in you.

Dance to the beat.

Let "Old Men Grooving" remind you how!

Old Men Grooving bust a move, and maybe their backs! - "Britain's Got Talent 2015"

Old Men Grooving  - Semi Finals - "Britain's Got Talent 2015"

Get your groove back.

Keep on keeping on. ;-)

Video's courtesy of "Britain's Got Talent" and YouTube

What to do? What to do?...In retirement

Sally Field, 70, has a new movie coming out (“Hello, My Name is Doris”) about a woman of a certain age…”late, late 60s”. In a NPR interview Saturday, Field talked about owning her age: “I've gathered strength behind my years, I owned them, I've earned them, I've deserved them, I have a right to have them. Behind my years I have value that doesn't come when you're 50 or 40 or 30 or 20, it doesn't come until you've been in that saddle for a number of years.”

Within the interview, she comments on how we are constantly in transition, “It [the film] looks at transitioning, you know, human beings; our task in life is to constantly transition from one stage into another whether it's toddlerhood into childhood into adolescence and then young adulthood and then middle age. It's just constant movement,” --- without much guidance.

By midlife, the guidance available emphasizes finances and health care in preparation for retirement. Little is done though to help us prepare for what to do once we get there.

I mean the morning after the retirement party with the box of personal stuff from the office still sitting on the kitchen table.

I am familiar with too many retirees who are bored on their way to death. A retired trucker, who traveled the country in his semi, now struggles with his health because he quit sitting in the truck and instead sits the day away in his recliner in front of the TV. He doesn’t know what to do.

Many people must teeter somewhere between boredom and depression --- the kind that takes them from not knowing what to do to not wanting to do anything because they don’t know what to do. A lonely and boring “Catch 22”.

People aren’t as ready to quit working cold turkey as they think they are. One recently admitted that after quitting her full-time job, finding a part-time one was her salvation in the transition to full retirement. Another, not so happy with the part-time work hesitates to give it up for the same reason. Then what?

I was lucky enough to work for an organization that offered retirement planning workshops for its employees. The all day event covered the standards --- investment planning, wills and trust and health care topics --- and then concluded with one I hadn’t even considered. The psychology of retirement. Preparing mentally for the moment when we realize we don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do.

I’d never thought to stop and prepare for that first free day and all the days to follow. We worked through exercises to help us identify purposes and interests we might choose to pursue in retirement --- from hobbies to volunteerism to education to travel to entrepreneurship --- just for the fun and adventure of it.

I’ve run into retirees who may not admit, but do demonstrate, their frustration with days filled with nothing to do. At the same time, I can’t escape those who have ventured beyond their homes to try something new. Notice the number of mature artists and crafters at shows…and notice the quality of their work.

My family couldn’t keep up with all of the volunteerism my mother did to avoid sitting at home --- at the voting poll, for her church, the local hospital, a thrift shop with a mission she supported. We finally had to get her an answering machine so she’d know we were looking for her. (When she returned our calls and got a machine she would say, “Donna, this is your mother, Lydia Ullrich, calling,” like I wouldn’t know who my mother is!) We’re all needed out there somewhere.

Seniors fill writing classes as they seek to tell the stories of their families or just try their hand at a good mystery. While it still makes the local news when an 80-year-old earns a diploma, most college classes are a nice mix of young and mature students. This gives the concept of peer learning a whole new depth.

There isn’t a fitness program out there that doesn’t tailor its programming to our grumpy bodies. Senior service programs are everywhere, as are non-profit resource centers to help someone find community involvements.

If we put our passions to work we will find our way successfully into retirement and no doubt, we will recognize that our contributions are just as important as we once thought only our career-self could be.

Consider these resources:
The Biggest Mistakes Couples Make Preparing for Retirement, The Wall Street Journal, Sept. 10, 2013

Preparing yourself mentally for retirement, USA Today, Oct. 22, 2013

Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Retirement: Planning for a Successful Transition, Yvette Guerrero, Ph.D., University of California San Francisco, (pdf)

The Emotional Side of Retirement, non financial aspects, Fran Larkin.com, 2013, podcast available.

Civility has left the building...

... and with it the Republican Party's attempt to offer the nation a qualified candidate prepared to act on behalf of the electorate and represent the U.S. internationally --- you know the countries that haven't yet banned The Donald from their shores.

www.cnn.com

I'm stunned by the lack of decorum at Thursday's Republican Debate. Particularly by The Donald's disrespect toward his fellow candidates ---- the name calling, the interruptions, the sheer inability to actually address the issues...or the serious questions asked of him.

I'm equally stunned by the media, CNN here, sponsoring the debate and thus surrendering the independent debate process and decorum to his ill-mannered behavior. This seemingly solely for the sake of ratings and advertising profits rather than for the benefit of informing the voting public. What has happened to third party objective hosts such as the League of Women Voters, that actively protected the integrity of the process for all of us?

I'm old enough to remember civilized debates where the issues and the responses of the candidates took center stage. And, where the candidates were respectful toward each other --- waiting their turns, you know, like grown ups. There was no chance then of the debates being mistaken for the voyeuristic reality shows of today.

During a 1988 vice presidential debate in Omaha, Senator Lloyd Bentsen respectfully took exception to his GOP opponent's comparison of himself to John F. Kennedy. Sen. Dan Quayle had just defended his inexperience as similar to that of Kennedy. Bentsen's response was strong but civil: "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy." (U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 7, 2008)

Republican candidate John McCain, in 2008, did not seize the opportunity to mock his opposition at one of his own rallies. When a McCain supporter told the crowd in Minnesota that "Obama is an Arab," McCain took away the microphone and with respect to both the supporter and candidate Barack Obama, he responded, "No ma'am, "[Obama's] a decent family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues." Huffington Post, Nov. 10, 2008

I give Marco Rubio credit at the debate for stepping up where his opponents would not to challenge Trump to focus on the issues, only to end up the target for The Donald's rudeness the rest of the evening and throughout the weekend. Sadly, Rubio has since stooped to Trump's level, mocking The Donald at his own political rallies.

What happened Thursday night and is continuing to happen on the Republican side of this election is everyone's fault.

• A Republican Party that has for some reason allowed The Donald to set its political agenda upon a foundation of ignorance, hate and fear. 
• His opposition for stooping to his level.
• The media for becoming the primary sponsors of debates (being the news rather than covering the news) rather than protecting the democratic process by allowing third party objective sponsors to manage these events.
• A national media that is ignoring the serious candidates and the real issues for the entertainment value of Trump's universally cavalier attitude and contempt. 
• A public that claims to back him because he isn't part of the "political establishment" and for his entertainment value. What they really mean but won't admit is that they love his hate and fear mongering. The things they don't have the guts to say out loud. 
• And finally, that lazy silent majority, again, that presumes someone else will clean up this mess for them before it threatens their personal lives. Until then, what does it really matter?

Trump has said he loves "the undereducated" because he's been so successful at preying on them. Here he is doing it again, the very people who are backing him are the ones he's screwed in the past and will screw along with the rest of us if he is elected.

As one friend commented recently, if Trump is the nominee, he alone may sweep Hillary into the White House.

It is on us to stay informed, to challenge candidates and platforms at necessary and to vote.

Do you ever just say "thank you?"

http://i-am-ruby.tumblr.com 
graphic credit only, no endorsement

Just put it out there in the universe for the good karma that it returns to you and others?

So, seriously, probably two decades ago I was listening to an interview on talk radio (OK, yeah, NPR. Say it with me…”I heard it on NPR”). The interviewee, an author, was talking about her exploration of her spirituality and how that adventure transformed itself nicely into her recently published book --- now, there’s a miracle.

An example of the confrontations she encountered as she pondered this issue (and as I recall 20-ish years later. WARNING: paraphrasing and extrapolation ahead), she 

found herself in line with a friend at a coffee shop listing and complaining about everything that had already gone wrong with the day.

The friend, applauding-ly brave and direct, interjected, “Do you ever just say 'thank you'?”

We, the listeners, felt the author’s stunned pause before she defended with: To whom? For what? I don’t believe in God.”

The friend, (still recalling here) suggested that she didn’t have to believe in any one god to take inventory of the good that happens each day in her life and put a “thank you” indiscriminately out into the universe for it.

I can’t tell you another thing about the interview, the author or the book, but I have practiced that lesson multiple times a day ever since --- like when I do find my car keys.

I do identify as a spiritual but not particularly religious individual. There is some higher power out there for me because I do believe I, and those around me have benefited from some minor (in big-picture mode but major in our lives) miracles. Not all of my requests (prayers) have been honored though or some very important people in my life would still be here working their own miracles on others and me. But that’s the balance, I guess.

I just don’t happen to believe in organized religion. I think they are cults organized by men with too much time and power on their hands. I don’t think God had anything to do with these organizations. It’s OK; my family knows my position, even a close relative who is a minister. I think he politely excuses me as the family eccentric. ;-)

I admit I talk to my God several times a day, usually to ask for a favor (AKA prayer) or just say “thanks” for something good that has happened, and usually when I am not talking to my cats. Both are very good covers at my age lest anyone think I’m talking to myself.

I was raised Christian by practicing parents (I think my late-dad would guffaw heartily if I were to suggest here that my mom was probably the better practitioner than he. My mom would quietly, confidently nod slightly in agreement and ignore my dad altogether…which would earn another hearty laugh). As far as I knew and witnessed, most of my relatives were also churchgoers. It was a model in our lives that we were expected to follow. When we were confirmed in our church as young adults, my parents did what the church claimed to intend --- they gave us the choice to continue as members of the church or not --- I chose not.

Still, over the years, I’ve recognized the charmed (blessed?) life I’ve been granted and have made an effort to acknowledge it, put it in perspective, and pay it forward (much better book than movie). And, I’ve noticed others’ attempts to get a handle on how to focus energy on the good of their lives rather than the bad. (We waste so much energy complaining about the problems rather than focusing that same energy on the solution.)

“Ah ha moments” one facilitator called her approach. She encouraged her workshop participants to take an inventory at the end of the day of the good that happened to them. Make a list.

When I turn out the light each night, instead of a prayer, I say “thank you” to God for each of the good things that did happen that day --- from getting me home safely to having the resources I needed to get something done, to friends and family, and yes, to finding my keys. A bit of an inventory does put daily life in perspective and helps us let go of some of the stress that accompanies the challenges.

No one is going to argue that the longer we live, the more we may have to be thankful for. Nor will they argue that longevity gives us perspective on the comedy and tragedies of our daily lives. The first world issues versus the real issues. Maybe instead of teaching our younger generations to practice some man-made religion, we should be modeling ways to value the blessings of our individual lives and how to put the daily challenges in perspective. Somehow collectively building up universal karma fueled by appreciation rather than complaints. Maybe that universal karma can benefit us all.

One friend responded to this post with:
Donna
I started thanking each individual atom this morning, I did not get past some dark stuff under my fingernail. I'll try again tomorrow. 
-T

Another:
As children we are taught to say, "Thank You" some adults have a hard time saying it. Here are some effects... "Thank You" has.....it makes smiles, it make you feel helpful, it tells you,grand job, what you feel that, what you do counts.

Thank You is a powerful reply. The way it is said can also make you feel uneasy. 
But most of the time it is a verbal hug....So say Thank You to everyone.....
-S


What are your thoughts and experiences?

Relationships, Divorce and the Single 60

 I paid $34.95 for my spouse on Match.com

That’s $4.37 per year. Not bad really, given the fun and adventures I had over eight years.

Still, this was the second time that I thought I’d married for life. I’m fast becoming the Elizabeth Taylor of my family. As a child, I was convinced that my brother-siblings would be horrible spouses and parents.  Yet here we all are, three of us still happily married to their one-and-onlys with grown and happy, healthy kids and adventures of their own. And me, a 2-time divorcee... with cats.

We’re way past shocking people with divorce announcements. Half of our married couples nationally divorce each year. Although we still seem to mortify our families and shock the neighborhood when a couple over the age of 60 opts out of their life-long commitment. (Tipper and Al say it ain’t so!)

The collective gut reaction seems to be, “They made it this long, why start over now?”

“Because.” Seems to be sufficient in response.

My situation was one that the two of us could not recover from, still friends asked, “What if  he wants you back…???? Eek!

NPR’s Diane Rehm Show yesterday included the topic, “The Anatomy of Love” 25 Years Later, a follow up to Helen Fisher’s 1992 research and book “The Anatomy of Love: a Natural History of Mating, Marriage and Why We Stray.”

While the host and author covered the science behind our romantic feelings and love, the callers contributed the realities of relationships these days.

Two mature women callers took interesting positions that hit close to home for me. (I’m paraphrasing now.) One, who had initiated her divorce and was now fairly sure she wouldn’t go looking for a relationship again.

I’m there. Relationships are too much work. Certainly not worth the energy of all of that early exploration and relationship building, Yuck!

Another who found the baggage of the mature men (in age only, tee hee) went far beyond what we would expect --- children, health, and commonalities. Men, she suggested, at this age have returned to the age-old search for a cook and housekeeper…with a substantial bank account. You know, the items they won’t get from the 20-somethings they ogle.

Balancing again in the middle of the road on the lane dividing line, I’m not willing to declare that I won’t stay open to all of the possibilities in my life but I’m not interested in actively looking for a partner either. I now think that someone is going to have to find me, do the work and show up on my doorstep … and then go home.

I’m never sharing my closet space again.

I value closing the door and luxuriating in my space, all alone and quiet…with my cats.

Divorce is scary at any age. I was fortunate enough to have learned with the first divorce that I am fully capable of living my life independently. I watched my mother do just that. She was widowed at 59 and went on to work, volunteer and adventure in ways my father never would have enjoyed. She found her independent self. Here I am divorced at the same age and making my way in her footsteps.

As much as we feel everyone should find their only true love, I think we should also welcome an individual’s decision to seize his/her own independence and happiness…before it is too late.